Kill The Fire
by SawyerAfterMe27
Summary: Little one shot about Xena and Gabrielle. Xena has feeling's she's been trying to hide from, but having Gabrielle as a friend makes it impossible to keep things a secret forever...


Gabrielle gazed up at the star-encrusted night sky, her breath light and her heart heavy. She couldn't sleep, and neither could Xena, who was lying on her side with her back to her companion. Gabrielle pulled her eyes away from the skies to look at her silent friend, able to feel a shadowy aura radiating from her that the blonde didn't like. She watched her for a while, not sure what to say. The light from the still-flickering but slowly-dying fire danced on Xena's skin, playing with her form and pushing shadows in and out of view. It seemed almost as if she weren't breathing, she was so still, and Gabrielle wondered for a moment then if the warrior actually was asleep. But she could tell somehow that Xena was indeed conscious without being able to see her face, despite her tranquil appearance.

After a moment, Gabrielle reached her hand out timidly, running the backs of her fingers against Xena's hair. The taller of the two responded subtly with a visible inhale and a slight movement of her head into the touch. Aside from this, however, she remained quiet and still in her position, but allowed for her eyes to slowly close. She felt Gabrielle's fingers in her hair again, but still she refused to move. She opened her eyes and looked into the dying fire, her face flat.

"You're awful quiet, tonight," Gabrielle said softly. To this, Xena said nothing, and her face hardened. A long silence filled the air and eventually Gabrielle pulled away from her friend's hair, using her arm to prop herself up on her elbow. The shift brought her a few inches closer to the black-haired woman. She waited a little while longer for Xena to say something back before she opened her mouth again. "Xena, what's wrong?" Xena's eyes swiveled to look at Gabrielle, although her head still faced the fire, which by now was only a few flames.

"Who says anything's wrong?" she asked, her voice piercing the air with it's clarity and strength, but not it's volume. Gabrielle's brow furrowed.

"It's probably been over an hour and you haven't fallen asleep yet-"

"Well, neither have you-"

"I can't get to sleep when something's going on with you, and there definitely is; I can feel it. Besides, even when you do stay awake you talk to me or sing me something… You haven't done either of those two things." Xena's sapphire gaze fell somewhere between the fire and the ground closest to her face, her expression flattening out again. She really didn't want to have to deal with this, especially not now. There would be no way to escape from Gabrielle here, tonight. At least during the day she could find some kind of trouble to fight and distract Gabrielle that way, but… Now surely wouldn't work in the same way. She couldn't say a word. Not one word. If Gabrielle even had an inkling of knowledge about how Xena felt…. "Please tell me what's wrong-"

"Nothing is wrong, Gabrielle," Xena interrupted. Her tone was sharper than she had intended for it to be, and so when she spoke again she made sure to soften it. "I just can't sleep tonight." Gabrielle didn't buy Xena's lie for a moment, and she countered it accordingly.

"If there's nothing wrong then why haven't you looked at me once this entire time?" Once again, Xena had nothing to say, and she cast her eyes back to the fire. It was dwindling steadily, but there was a strength at its core that Xena noticed. Near the center, at the bottom, it was bright and fierce, while the licking flames above and around it were fading, a few even fizzling out before her eyes. After examining the fire for a few minutes, something made Xena turn away, shifting onto her back. She looked up at the sky, so dark and beautiful all that distance away with sparkling stars that gazed back at her.

Gabrielle followed Xena's gaze and smiled lightly before laying back down. Once settled, she cast her gaze back up to the sky, barely noticing that her and Xena's arms were touching now. She took in a breath.

"Xena?" she asked softly.

"What is it, Gabrielle?" Xena's voice mirrored Gabrielle's in tone and delicacy.

"I can talk to you about anything, can't I?" This question caused Xena to look immediately away from the sky and finally put her eyes on her friend for the first time in hours.

"Of course you can," she said. There was a slight protectiveness in her tone, like that of a concerned mother.

"Well…. You know you can do the same with me." Gabrielle turned her head and looked Xena dead in the eyes. The warrior looked away almost flinchingly. She saw the fire out of the corner of her eye fading quickly, the strength in its core no longer there. The brunette let out a breath, still determined not to speak a word about what was in her heart. She blinked slowly.

"I know I can," she said calmly, "and I am grateful for that. But I can't…" The woman struggled with her words. She didn't want to lie to Gabrielle. She didn't like doing it and, most of the time, Gabrielle could see through them anyway. The blonde beside her watched the gears grind against each other stubbornly in Xena's head; she knew the brunette was hiding something.

"Hey…" she breathed, and her voice alone was enough to pull that bright blue gaze to her. Xena's face was hard, but not angry. There was, actually, when Gabrielle took a few seconds to really read it, a hint of fear there, but it was covered up well. Behind that face a war was being waged, Xena struggling to figure out a solution. It was hard to see her friend there, waiting patiently for an explanation that she was honestly terrified to give, which was surprising in itself. "Talk to me." Gabrielle said again with the same softness as before. She watched Xena continuously make and break eye contact with her as she thought, and thought hard. Her face still refused to give much away, as per usual, and she even managed to shut her eyes down too, their sparkle dulling out. Xena blinked slowly, and then Gabrielle heard her speak.

"Close your eyes, Gabrielle," she said. The blonde didn't understand but did as she was asked, wanting nothing else but for Xena to open up. She left her head as it was, facing her friend's, and waited. There was a silence, no sound but the wind rustling in the tree branches and the call of an owl in the distance. Behind the two of them the fire cracked and popped quietly, the last of its flames fading to small embers in the remaining ash. The only light now came from the moon overhead, which hid half of itself behind the tree line a few meters away. Gabrielle welcomed the breeze that blew over them then, and as it disappeared she felt a very faint brush against her lips. She didn't open her eyes, knowing immediately what the touch was, and followed it as it retreated. Seeking out Xena's face tenderly with her fingers, she pulled the woman back to her, kissing her gently. The brunette's expression lost some its toughness, softening to a small smile. She didn't want to obsess over the feeling that washed over her then, fighting it with reason and logic that told her that this was a dream, that this wouldn't last, and even that she should stop now before she dug herself too deep of a hole… She pulled away. _What am I doing?_ She thought.

Gabrielle opened her eyes and looked right at her friend.

"Please don't run from me now," she said. Xena blinked hard.

"Gabrielle, I-"

"Don't, please." The blonde reached out and pushed some of Xena's hair out of her face gently, a smile on her face. "You don't know how long I've wanted you to do that," she said. Surprise flashed across Xena's eyes for just a moment, their sparkle returning. Gabrielle pushed herself up onto her elbow again, this time leaning over and laying a gentle kiss on Xena's lips. The kiss was slow, and timid, but there was a fire behind it that both women more than were aware of. Gabrielle was the one to break it this time, though, after a longer period of time than Xena had first allotted. She looked into the woman's eyes, her own gaze warm.

"I love you," the blue-eyed woman said. Gabrielle smiled a true smile, nothing hidden by her face.

"I love you too."


End file.
